On the 6th day of autumn, I posted.

I just finished perhaps the most disturbing but insanely engrossing book ever--Running With Scissors. My lord! I hesitate to say any book is the "best" thing I've ever read, but this one's definitely up there. They tell their fortunes by looking at their TURDS, for heaven's sake. If you haven't read this, you MUST. It will make your own life seem like peaches on a warm Georgia day.

***

Emily just got married. Like, today! Like, 3 hours ago! Congratulations Em and Crawford! I'll be there soon to toast you on your nuptials! (Just as soon as I finish up with this here work wine-tasting.)

***

On the subjects of weddings, Patsy just emailed me and remarked that I sure have had a lot of weddings going on lately. True THAT, sister. True that.

***

It's fall all of the sudden in Colorado....BAM! Today is low-50s and rainy. Leaves are all over the yard, all over the porch. I'm wearing a sweater and thinking about what I'm going to be for Halloween.

***

I feel under the weather--physically and emotionally. Maybe it's the aforementioned weather. Don't get me wrong--I love a crisp autumn day in the 60s....but that's about it. I hate the cold. I hate wearing socks. I hate being inside. I hate wearing coats. I hate this zit on my chin.

While I am not about to discuss certain personal issues on the internet--or with anyone other than Kevin on this matter--I will say that my boyfriend really busts out some good advice when least expected. The boy has it going on. I know that sometimes I come across as the woman who acts likes she's God's gift to psychology, but I, too, need to hear certain things from the man I love the most.

And I feel so much better.

Tahoe living.

The wedding was a blast....a whirlwind, but a blast.

Rosalicious had too many extra-dirty martinis, Sunya wore "vagina shoes", we had a ping-pong/pool table combo in our house with 15 people and one dog named Rufus.

The rehearsal dinner BBQ was windy as shit. Everyone drank a lot of wine and the vegetarians were farting all night from all the beans.

At the ceremony, the chilly and sunny outdoor ceremony, Mark read an awesome poem he wrote, some old dude sang a bristling version of Ave Maria, Sacco was the officiant. Hes forgot his lines. Kim just smiled. We all smiled.

Look at how beautiful Kim is! She is so pretty and yet so down-to-earth, the sweetest person.

Hes, unfortunately, gets railed on by his friends ALL THE TIME (and believe me, I've heard the stories), but I know deep down everyone loves him to pieces.

Much bourbon was consumed, a few Irish Car Bombs were chugged, a ton of pistachios were eaten, and Rosalicious made a match. They kissed at the reception, and I was happy.

Look for us next month in Tahoe Living.

Click on the picture of Kim and Matt above to see the rest of the pictures from the wedding.
(Our camera died way too early.)

New shoes.

I bought new shoes yesterday during lunch.
I wore them out after work.
I slid on a slippery hardwood floor.
I ate shit.
In front of people.
I now have a very big bruise.
On my ego.
And my knee.

Juan gets ready to make his bachelorette party debut.

The entire set of Emily's bachelorette party can be seen by clicking on our man Juan below:



This weekend: more wedding madness as we head to Lake Tahoe to watch Hes and Kim tie the knot!

Someone at Target loves me.

I knew all those shopping trips would somehow pay off!

Hey, I'm only human.

I know I usually keep this blog all goodness and light but today is an ICKY icky day.

I guess it could always be ickier, but it's the ickiest day I've had all month, errr, OK...all week.

It's a day that says I SUCK all over it. My writing sucks, my blog sucks, my spending habits suck, my attitude sucks, my uterus sucks. My hair sucks, my wardrobe sucks, my motivation sucks, my management skills suck, I suck as a woman.

Boy do I ever!

Alrighty, feeling better all ready.

Girl time.

How often is one booked up on a Wednesday night with TWO women-only cocktail parties?

Not so often, my friend, not so often. But this week I am. And I plan on making an appearance at both....hello Wednesday night wine buzz!

The first is a Body Shop At Home party.....you know, like a Mary Kay party. Remember those? My mom and her friends used to have them and get snockered on White Russians while getting their faces painted up like clowns. Once I was allowed to join in with my friend Kara. We were like, 13 years old. The Mary Kay lady made us look like a couple of teen-aged hookers.

But this will be different as it is a foot-spa themed party. And I totally will buy something....I heart the Body Shop.

The second is a wine and appetizer party at my friend Jenn's....and come to find out, it's a get-together for her BIRTHDAY, which I didn't know until I got the evite! This will be my second and final stop, seeing as Jenn lives right on down the hill. (note: must get a little something for the birthday girl!)

Chant it with me now- no boys! No boys! There sure has been a lot of girl partying going on lately.....vaginas in the hiz-ouse!! Woop-woop!

P.S. Wednesday is coincidentally the day I get my period....how festive! It's also the autumn equinox. That must mean something.

Weekend run-down.

I accomplished what I set out to accomplish this weekend: NOTHING!

Ok, that's totally untrue--it just sounded good.

Friday night Kevin and I went out to dinner at Bang, a yummskiddlyumtious restaurant in our trendy 'hood. It was tasty alright, but seeing as the menu only consists of about 3 entrees I can eat, I'd say I'm done with Bang for awhile.

After a "nightcap" of a vodka tonic and cigarette, with dashed hopes of playing a game of pool, we rode our bikes home and watched a very compelling, but most disturbing, movie--The Magdalene Sisters. I'd say it touched Kevin's Catholic upbringing something good (actually, there is nothing good about the asylums featured in the movie, but you'll have to watch it for yourselves.)

Saturday, oh Saturday....how did I spend thee? Oh yes, ate a grilled veggie omelette, relaxed in the sunshine and finished my DOG BOOK, ran errands (to PetsMart and Home Depot--how grown up and suburbia-like!), and RAN 5 MILES! I forgot my inhaler, so my exercise-induced asthma kicked-in and I struggled upon arriving home. But 5 miles! I needed that shit.

Last night I watched Kevin watch football (god, months left of this!), read, and crashed early. This morning I read the Sunday paper, talked to both Sara(h)s, washed the sheets, went for another, but shorter, run, and went to the mall. Yuck--the MALL! I can't belive how many people I saw there wearing my favorite pants! My Urban Outfitters gaucho coolattes! They're so comfy--I LIVE in mine. No trend is gonna keep me from these gems. While at the mall I actually purchased another long black pair.....but for half the price of Urban Outfitters at this cheeseball clothing store called Forever 21. Whatevs.....for half the price, I'd buy these knickers at fucking WAL-MART!

Now I'm sitting at home, sipping wine, and right now I actually have a BIG confession to make to you:

I'm watching Laguna Beach on MTV. And I'm liking it.

Granted, a lot of it makes me want to vomit, but in another way--it's strangely holding my attention. I was never that cute as a teen. Are they teens? I don't know. If I had a teenage daughter I would NOT let her near this bullshit. But as a twenty-something who's fairly confident and secure in her own identity, I'm going to indulge.

Just please don't judge me.

I totally kill me.

I just read something pretty hilarious. It's an essay written by Lucy from the perspective of a 16-year old.

Oh OK, Lucy didn't actually write it--I wrote it. It's a submission to be Pet-of-the-Week in our local neighborhood paper. I crack myself up.

If she gets chosen, THEN you'll get to read it.

(Boring Friday afternoon activities anyone??)

No one ever said we weren't crafty!

Dude, if you are EVER feeling gloomy and down in the doldrums, may I highly recommend that you come back to this picture:

pin the penis on the man
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

I just adore the hot pink day-glo balls. Nice touch. And in case you're wondering, the name "Skip II" pays homage to a real live nude man we hired for Sara's bachelorette party. I'm sure he would have loved it if we had pinned something on him in that region!

Next photo:

Penis Pinata
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

I spent a week crafting this pinata! Does it look like a weiner to you? Not so sure. But now I've done it--I've made my one and only homemade penis pinata, especially for Em! It was filled with all kinds of naughty treats. Unfortunately, I wacked it so hard that the nuts came flying off the shaft, but since the goods were still sealed in the unbroken shaft, nothing came out! I seem to recall Megan stomping the shaft open as it lay on the ground. Then it was a free-for-all for penis whistles and pacifiers and condoms and penis candy!

That's it for now. I would imagine that more bachelorette pics will come trickling in....there is one Juan picture--ahem, Emion--I'm just waiting to post!

Won't you be my blog-friend?

This day cannot go by fast enough. I feel like one of those bloated chicks in the Zelnorm commercials, only my stomach is not nearly so flat. How can they have a commercial for bloating and advertise their product on a flat-tummied person? Then again, maybe I do need Zelnorm. Maybe my tummy, too, can be that flat. In sum, I'm having a pretty poopy week in the bloat respect.

Ahem. I should know better than to drink cheap crappy wine, I should. Hell, now I can even afford to spring for at least a $10 bottle. I guess I'm just in the habit, from being broke for so long, of cruising into the liqour store and grabbing a 1.5 L of Concho Y Toro. It's quite gross, and tastes like vinegar. But I drank it last night. I drank it and danced around my living room all by my lonesome. And I even did some ironing.

OK....WHO THE HELL IRONS WHEN THEY'RE DRUNK? I do. It's fun! Try it sometime! I guess I just enjoy the wine-heightened satisfaction of pressed clothing. HRRRMMPP. Sue me.

No plans on the horizon for the weekend.....maybe a redo of the blog. The color is killing me. It's like that blue toilet water. No one reads my blog anyway....WHO READS MY BLOG? It's ugly and amateur and ugghhh....

Oh stop, Rosalicious--it's your pity-patty-pity Friday afternoon pity party and the blog ain't having it! I did see that someone found my blog by googling "ticklish pedicures" and I have reached 1,000 hits (small potatoes to some but big for me!). But have I made any new blog friends, attracted anyone new (other my own, already-had friends--hey guys!)? Has anyone random linked to me? Has anyone book marked my page? Noooooo. Not that I know of. I am a blogging loser!

On the other hand, I can't exactly say that I'm really being the blogging go-getter. All the links to the right--they're all blogging heavy-hitters and have been at it for a long time. What do I expect? Instant notoriety? A legion of adoring fans? God, that would annoy me. I read the comments on the BIG blogs like this one and everyone is so worshippy and "I love you Fish... you are like, the BEST writer" and all she'll have written would be something like "I was late for work today and feel like crap." I mean, I enjoy her blog but I certainly don't swoon over the mundanest of entries, nor do I judge her for not making every entry Pulitzer-prize worthy. Hardly anyone writes any thought-provoking comments worth reading, they just want their name up there in the comments so people will link to their own pages.

Huh.
(Lightbulb!)
So that's what I'm doing wrong!

Maybe once my blog looks a little cooler I'll feel more confident putting myself out there.

Til later--hasta la vista, babes in toyland.

Pack of two.

I'm reading this book right now by one of my favorite writers, Caroline Knapp. It's called Pack of Two and it's terrific.

My nightly routine has always been to read, but with this book reading also entails snuggling up with Lucy. The book is about the "intricate bond between woman and dog" so it's only fitting that Lucy accompany me in bed with the book.

Plus, look at her. She's so effing CUTE:

lucy backpacking
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

It's amazing to me how much I love this creature! I love Hendrix, my cat, very much, but my relationship with him is an entirely different thing. My love for Lucy must be like what it's like to be a mother and love your child--I mean, I'm only guessing here seeing as I don't have any children yet, but it's a love that just fills me up and makes me want to bust my insides out with joy....

The only way for people to possibly understand me without thinking I'm totally wack over my dog is to describe it as a --and you've heard me say this before-- CUTE ATTACK! I look at Lucy and the urge to baby talk and call her potty names and snuggle and cuddle and pet her is uncontrollable. I pass her and I can't resist touching and cooing at her. My life revolves around her. I'm her Mama. Kevin's her Daddy. And it's been great practice.


Ludy-doo
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Caroline Knapp writes about anthropomorphizing her dog Lucille and my god, DO I RELATE! She also writes about projecting your own fears and emotions on your dog, either affecting them in uncanny ways (one example is a woman who lives with constant fear and anxiety and essentially has subconciously trained her dog to constantly be protective and on edge) or not affecting them at all--only imagining that the dog feels a certain way when really she could care less (definition of anthropomorphizing removed here as Kevin thought it insulted my readers' intelligence).

I don't believe that Lucy doesn't feel fear or loneliness or anxiety or boredom. We've lost too many items around the house for that! And I think she loves me as much as I love her. She sure acts like it! She's such an affectionate little thing. And so obedient. I don't think I could own a dog who wasn't these things....but then again, she is my dog. I must take some credit for making her this way.


Stinky Poops
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

Recently I have been running to the dog park with Lucy, hanging out for about 20 minutes, and running home. Lucy has never been a fan of the dog park, but I want her to like it SO badly because I like it so much. It's quite entertaining to watch all the dogs play, fun to talk to their owners; it's very much a social scene that I enjoy being a part of.

I am convinced that Lucy will warm up to it--and she is, a little. If it's not crowded she will run around and play--last night she and a Weimereiner (spelling?) puppy got on swimmingly. But if it starts to get crowded, she cowers under my chair or sticks by my side like velcro. Is she still enjoying it? Is it good for her to be around these dogs? How can I tell? She likes other dogs-I'm sure of that. Put her in someone's yard with 4 or 5 other dogs and she's queen-bee.

Then I access some old fears of my own...being shy, finding it hard to be in big groups of people, being scared to be the first one to initiate conversation. I tell Lucy to "go make friends," just like my Mom might have told me when I was little. And I hated that.

Of course, I can't dissect any of this nearly as well as Caroline Knapp. But it's got me thinking about Lucy and being her Mama and how I might be when I actually give birth to a real live baby.

If you own a dog--or even a cat--go read this book, right away! You'll agree with every word she says (maybe even acquiring a little wine buzz beforehand after which you recite every. single. line. that you find profound to your boyfriend who is lying next to you not finding it nearly as interesting as you are) and you will want to hug your furry punkin' eater(s) as close as possible.

You'll love this book, I promise.

Juan: penis to all, friend to many.

There are MANY, MANY funny highlights from Emily's bachelorette night, but Juan, our mascot, was, without a doubt, the biggest.

Juan went everywhere with us. Here he is with Emily taking the bus downtown:

em and her "date" for the night--juan! Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

People thought we bought him with that face. Oh no, that face is a Rosalicious original, with inspiration from Emion, of course. And a little help from Sharpie. (Props also to Kevin for letting us raid his wife-beater collection.)

Juan started the night with us at Above the Dove, where his presence started a fight between yours truly and a girl with fucked up teeth. Not a real fight, mind you, but I was liquored up enough as to where she was NOT going to push my buttons, no sirree! She thought we were trying to use poor Juan to get a table with her fiancee--her FUGLY fiancee! I told her there was no way in hell we wanted her hideous looking yo-buddy fiancee. We didn't even notice her yo-buddy fiancee. We just wanted a place to perch!

Juan then posed with multiple bachelorettes and bar-goers, preparing for the Juan 2006 Calendar that we plan on selling at Emily's wedding for $5 a pop. Proceeds to Hurricane Katrina--I'm now taking orders, folks.

After the scene at Above the Dove, which finished up with shots of Tuaca and a gay Swede, we hit up Level, a club in the most clubbish-clubby-club-club of ways. Juan got his dance on, for sure. Here he is getting down with Megan:

juan gets manhandled
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

We took to the stage at one point (after Limbo-ing under the bar), grinding with Juan and generally acting like a bunch of, well, drunk chicks at a bachelorette party. I thought it would be fun to toss Juan out into the crowd. Apparently, according to Big Manly Bouncer, some bachelorettes the weekend prior got into a fight over an inflatable weinie.Hmmm. Seems these weinies are hot property.

Just look at Emion getting her groove on with Juan....can't you see how his manlihood would inspire drunken jealous catfights?

emion and juan
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

The last stop of the night, after Level, was the 9th Door, a chic-chic tapas place that I rather liked. There, Juan faced his demise as someone smushed a cigarette in his face. To further compound the impending deflation situation, one of the bartenders took Juan behind the bar and stomped on him. Hard. An act of jealousy, it was.

At this point, and unsurprisingly, this is all I remember about Juan's night out. The next morning, we found Juan in a sad puddle by the front door, wife beater and doo-rag stripped from his limp rubber body.

RIP Juan.

The 2-day hangover rears its ugly head.

Pinot grigio, strawberry daquiris, rum shots, tuaca shots, frozen hurricanes, vodka tonics, surfers on acid, extra dirty martini, beer, more vodka, champagne.

I drank all of this over the course of Emily's bachelorette night.

Somebody help me.

(Pictures and recap forthcoming. Too tired. Too brain-dead. Too bloated.)

Sara and Em

sara and em
Originally uploaded by Rosalicious.

So, I got in a wee bit of trouble from flickr for posting my pictures from their website without giving them props.

Meaning: I was once again being the neatfreak that I am and erasing the code that clutters up my posts with a link below each picture to my flickr page.

I guess it's no big deal, you all will still love my blog won't you?

Now it's going to take my FOREVER to copy and paste all the code back into each post that contains a picture.

Thanks, Flickr, thanks. It's a corporate, promotional world out there, I know. But don't worry, even though I have to spend my entire lunch hour getting myself back in your good graces, I still dig your service.

Labor Day Weekend

Oh, I've labored alright.

I have spent the weekend nesting, for the most part. And feeling VERY appreciative for all I have--great house, nice garden, awesome boyfriend, terrific friends and family, and the cutest damn pets....oh lord. Cute attack! As we speak!

Recent events (need I say more), I figure, are as good a reason as any to stay in this holiday weekend and count my blessings....

....and clean, and organize, and decorate, and cook and basically stick as close as possible to my domestic roots.

I'm a homebody at heart, what can I say?

It's been a great weekend. Friday night, afer a long delightful run, found us at the Tennyson Street First Friday art walk--always a good (free wine!) time. To bed soon after the art walk found us waking bright and early--sans hangover--on Saturday morning, to which we greeted the day with a tasty breakfast with Shar and Alex at the Mercury Cafe, which they loved, by the way. After breakfast I hit a local fabric store I've been dying to try--and now I know why...the prices are unbelievable! I scored some fabric to make pillows for our bed with, as well as some cheap chintz that will make fabulous tablecloths. And some pretty ribbon for .25 a yard...because seriously, what girl can have too much ribbon in her plastic storage container of tricks?

Later that afternoon, we watched the CSU/CU game at Jenn and Yoni's....and it was a beer-drinking, white-knuckle of a game. And CSU lost. Booooo. I was supposed to go out with Megan that night for a bachelorette party "planning" meeting for Emily's upcoming bash, but since Megan got caught up serving crab cakes at the Taste of Colorado, I stayed in and watched "In America" with Kevin. GREAT movie....add it to your NetFlix queue immediately!

Waking Sunday to another gloriously hangover-free day, I set to work repotting plants and scrubbing the kitchen....we're talking washing the top of the fridge here, people! Kevin, who thought he had to work, ended up coming home--to the UK/Louisville game, much to his delight. Before the game, we hit the Otis, a new bar/sandwich place in our hood. We each devoured a tempeh sandwich and tots--TOTS!--and a Dos Equis. Now, even though the food was none too spectacular, we did walk out of there with a HUGE score....a cute vintage wrought iron patio set! It's adorable! It was just sitting all lonely behind the deck of the restaurant, and Kevin asked if we could buy it. I mean, this set has serious potential, even covered in dirt and lying on its side--we saw it immediately! The owner, kind of a weird, quiet type, GAVE IT TO US! For free! It's got some total retro flair--it's a light bluish/turquoise, which we decided to keep, and has just a little rust, but only enough to give it that shabby chic look. It needs a new top and naturally, some new cushions. Thank heavens for the fabric store discovery...oh happy day!

While our cute set waited for us to pick it up, Kevin watched the game and fixed my bike and put a rack on the back of it...so I can tote around a big baguette and artisan cheese! Hee! Meanwhile, I sewed, piddled in the yard, pulled a huge trash bag full of clothes out to give away, organized my shoes, and cleaned out one of my craft boxes.

After all this--you think I'd be totally beat wouldn't you?--we took Lucy to the dog park, partially so she could play, partially so I could donate 2 old lawn chairs to the park. Resourceful, huh? I know those chairs will be enjoyed. We picked up our new patio furniture on the way home and admired it with the utmost glee as it perched on our back patio, looking like something in a European tea garden. I insisted we remove the old cinder block and board bench immediately, as it was totally hideous. Uggh, ick.

While Kevin took the laptop to the porch to read blogs (that's my man!), I whipped up a homemade batch of zucchini lasagna...and by zucchini I mean that this ubiquitous veggie took the place of the lasagna noodles. Boy, did it turn out....HUGE. But mighty tasty. Atkins devotees everywhere would be proud. Paired with a salad and a shiraz (side note: I bought 6 bottles of wine the other day! For 35$! That's a steal!), the lasagna was a hit.

Last night ended by reading all the depressing coverage in the Sunday paper. Consequently I awoke at 2 am thinking about it, then about my new hire, then about work, then about some other personal issues....and I didn't fall back asleep until 4 am this morning.

But did that stop this manic domestic Labor Day diva? Hell no! I got up at 9 this morning. First stop: Target (My Target habit is a bit out of control, I will admit. Hey Kev--did you hear that? I know my recent Target shopping is a bit ridiculous!!). But the Target in our hood is so quaint and Mexican, and the stuff in there is so fun. Cute napkins for next weekend's party? New lamp for living room? Stainless steel trash can? Cat food? Canisters? Dog treats? Rugs? Frames? Yay Target for providing me with such frivolous wares!

Second stop: car wash. Had to wash last week's camping grunge away. Last stop: Safeway and to get a cup of coffee. Now I'm home, blogging here to you and eating a fakeBLT. Kevin is at work, so I'm free to do as much dilly-dallying on the homefront as I wish. On the agenda for today: penis pinata, bathrooms, another pillow, a run.

Alas, the moral of this run-down of my weekend is three-fold:

1. The things you can accomplish without a hangover are AMAZING!
2. The gas savings and stress level of not going anywhere over this holiday weekend are also amazing;
3. Don't take your home for granted...nurture your space, care for it, love it, let it become you......because one day it could all go away.
   
   
   
   
   

Tears for the 4-legged.

I'm feeling very sad.

Sad for the people of New Orleans, of course. Sad because had this hurricane hit a predominantly white, upper-class area, help would be there immediately. Instead, the predominantly black residents in the New Orleans Superdome are miserable. That's not even the word for it, it's absolutely unthinkable how much suffering is going on there right now. There are dead, rotting people there! Panic and frenzy! This is America! My god!

(At this point I will spare you my diatribe about conspiracy theories of the government erradicating lower classes and races...but you've gotta think that maybe somewhere in the back of someone in our government's head--especially in the South-- there's a bit of joy in seeing all those black folk suffering.....disgusting. And by the way, poverty is the cause for all the looting and mayhem, not color of skin!)

But you know what else has got me misting over as I write this?

The animals. All the scared, sad, lost animals. Dogs, kitties, birds, hamsters, people's pets no one has rescued. Cattle, horses, chickens, farm animals.

It's heart wrenching.

Then again, I've admittedly got more of a soft spot for my furry friends than for people. I always have.

Animals are so sweet, so innocent.

Sniff, sniff.
Sob.