How to survive the heat.

Drink lots of water

Drink lots of pinot grigio and Mexican beer

Plan a big party

Eat pistachios

Go to the mall and buy size 6 pants.....SIZE 6 PANTS, PEOPLE! Woo hoo!

Invest in a baby pool and lie in it

Wear lots of sunscreen

Bitch about the heat to everyone you see

Take a really cold shower and immediately hop into bed naked

Commiserate with your friends in Las Vegas

Wear flip flops to work

Make a big salad for lunch

Wish for the beach

Jam out to "Gold Dust Woman" by Fleetwood Mac

Get teary-eyed about the dead cat dying/roasting in the neighbor's yard

Ice down your coffee

Moan about how ugly and flabby your arms are

Watch Seinfeld re-runs on TV

Rejoice that your car has AC

Be bummed that it uses up so much damn gas

Plan your day around your yard watering schedule

Read an US Weekly

Blame your lack of exercise on it

Get as close to a fan as possible

Check weather.com at least 5 times daily

Nap